Tuesday July 13, 2010 — Sometime ago I wrote in a blog about going home. As I recall, it was an opinion of mine about how one could go home again and that it was basically a myth that one could not do so. I am about to prove the truth of what I wrote then...I am going home.
Karen and I are about to leave for a good ol' fashion family reunion in Le Mars, Iowa where I was born and where the roots of my family are planted firmly. This is where my Mom and Dad were raised, met each other in a small country church, and began their life together. The branches of the family that have grown from those roots extend far and wide today and that is as it should be.
I am the youngest of eight children and there are three of us siblings surviving today. Those that have passed on before us and some of their children that have done so also will be at this reunion in spirit. They will look down on us and know that it is GOOD STUFF!
I will get to see and get reacquainted with many family members that I knew well as a child and as a young man. Time and distance have separated us for far too long and that all is about to be wiped away by this reunion...this going home.
I am excited beyond words. I do know that I am blessed to be part of a loving, caring family and I cherish that with all my heart...I cherish this going home...it's what really matters!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
What is Goin' On
Sunday June 20, 2010 - Just where does the time go? Here it is again a month since I last blogged. So much has been happening in that time. I went home to Abilene on the occasion of a grand nephews graduation from high school. I saw all my Abilene family there and spent a wonderful evening with them. Even took my youngest son and one of my grandsons with me. It was a great time.
I have spent an immense amount of time over the past two months in working on a veterans project that is near and dear to my heart. In 2005 the Texas State Legislator unanimously passed a resolution allowing a monument to the Texas veterans of the Vietnam War to be erected on the state Capitol grounds. This monument is to be built and maintained with private donations only. We are undergoing a tremendous effort to raise in the area of $1.3-$1.5 million to get this done. You can find out more by visiting our website www.buildthemonument.org.
My youngest son is on his way to getting down the right road in his life. Oh there are stumbles along the way, but all of us that know him see a change that is good and all so encouraging. My prayer is that he will win his battle and become the man he is suppose to be.
Karen and I are getting ready for the event of our summer and that is our Burkett Family reunion in Iowa in July. We look forward to being with so many family members that I have not seen in so many years...far too many to count. It will be a grand time for all.
I hope you are into and enjoying your summer wherever you are. It is hot for sure here in Austin, TX but not like it was this time last year when we had sizzling days in 100's that went on for over 65 days.
Life is good if I only let it be so. Family, friends, and veterans issues and activities...it's what really matters.
I have spent an immense amount of time over the past two months in working on a veterans project that is near and dear to my heart. In 2005 the Texas State Legislator unanimously passed a resolution allowing a monument to the Texas veterans of the Vietnam War to be erected on the state Capitol grounds. This monument is to be built and maintained with private donations only. We are undergoing a tremendous effort to raise in the area of $1.3-$1.5 million to get this done. You can find out more by visiting our website www.buildthemonument.org.
My youngest son is on his way to getting down the right road in his life. Oh there are stumbles along the way, but all of us that know him see a change that is good and all so encouraging. My prayer is that he will win his battle and become the man he is suppose to be.
Karen and I are getting ready for the event of our summer and that is our Burkett Family reunion in Iowa in July. We look forward to being with so many family members that I have not seen in so many years...far too many to count. It will be a grand time for all.
I hope you are into and enjoying your summer wherever you are. It is hot for sure here in Austin, TX but not like it was this time last year when we had sizzling days in 100's that went on for over 65 days.
Life is good if I only let it be so. Family, friends, and veterans issues and activities...it's what really matters.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Taking Time...Because It's What Really Matters
May 23, 2010 — My goodness it's been over a month since I last blogged here. It's not that during that time there were not things that mattered to me because there certainly have been. It's just that I have not taken the time to stop and blog about them. For those that have been reading my blog you know that I do write about the things that really matter to me. We all have those special things that matter. For me it has usually been about my family, my pets, being a veteran, or some current issue we are all faced with. Today's blog is no different and I am so glad that I am now taking the time to write.
My wife Karen went through some oral surgery this past week and is now sporting a new set of "choppers." She had quietly suffered through many humiliations and not being able to eat properly for longer than any of us have cared to remember. I and her two oldest sons waited for over 2 hrs as the dentist did his work. When I was allowed in to see her she was just coming out of the gas they had used on her and laying in the dental chair she tried to smile and show me her new teeth while tears rolled down the side of her face. It grabbed my heart and I was so thankful that finally she would suffer no more.
In the days following, she has been simply over joyed. As she told me the other morning over coffee together about looking at herself in the mirror and being over whelmed with joy and how she cried again out of happiness. Anyone that knows Karen knows what a beautiful and good person she is...how caring and giving she is. Finally now she has a reward for all of her love and caring. I stand in awe of her sometimes and I am so elated that she is showing a beautiful smile and feeling so good about herself. I love her dearly!
Several blogs ago I shared with all of you a letter I had written my youngest son. Some things have changed since I wrote that blog and all of them have been good as they relate to him. He has come home to live with Karen and I and started down the road to being an active member of our family. There is no doubt a long way to go for him. He faces many trials and tribulations in struggling with issues that have plagued him before. But, I am encouraged by what I see and hear. How he is beginning to take responsibility for his word and deeds...how hje is bringing out the joy of being young...how he is looking at life with a sense of humor...and mostly how he is beginning to see and understand who he really is and where he comes from. As I wrote before, I have always known who he is and where he comes from and my belief that those are the undeniable traits we all possess...a truth we cannot deny...that brings us home again and to the goodness of life. Again, I am thankful for this new beginning.
Now I have taken the time I have been needing to for some time. I have done what helps me understand who I am...and it's what really matters!
My wife Karen went through some oral surgery this past week and is now sporting a new set of "choppers." She had quietly suffered through many humiliations and not being able to eat properly for longer than any of us have cared to remember. I and her two oldest sons waited for over 2 hrs as the dentist did his work. When I was allowed in to see her she was just coming out of the gas they had used on her and laying in the dental chair she tried to smile and show me her new teeth while tears rolled down the side of her face. It grabbed my heart and I was so thankful that finally she would suffer no more.
In the days following, she has been simply over joyed. As she told me the other morning over coffee together about looking at herself in the mirror and being over whelmed with joy and how she cried again out of happiness. Anyone that knows Karen knows what a beautiful and good person she is...how caring and giving she is. Finally now she has a reward for all of her love and caring. I stand in awe of her sometimes and I am so elated that she is showing a beautiful smile and feeling so good about herself. I love her dearly!
Several blogs ago I shared with all of you a letter I had written my youngest son. Some things have changed since I wrote that blog and all of them have been good as they relate to him. He has come home to live with Karen and I and started down the road to being an active member of our family. There is no doubt a long way to go for him. He faces many trials and tribulations in struggling with issues that have plagued him before. But, I am encouraged by what I see and hear. How he is beginning to take responsibility for his word and deeds...how hje is bringing out the joy of being young...how he is looking at life with a sense of humor...and mostly how he is beginning to see and understand who he really is and where he comes from. As I wrote before, I have always known who he is and where he comes from and my belief that those are the undeniable traits we all possess...a truth we cannot deny...that brings us home again and to the goodness of life. Again, I am thankful for this new beginning.
Now I have taken the time I have been needing to for some time. I have done what helps me understand who I am...and it's what really matters!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Consensus
April 22, 2010 — An online dictionary definition of "consensus" results in the following: (1) majority of opinion, and (2) general agreement or concord; harmony. How often have you been involved in an organization or committee or business where decisions were to be made by "consensus?" I have found that everyone I have been associated with that is the case except those where it is explicitly dictated that such things as Robert's Rules of Order or Demeter's Manual of Parliamentary Law and Procedure are to be followed.
All to often I find that the word "consensus" is used for convenience sake especially in what many profess to be a "teaming" environment. It looks good to say that "the team" reaches decisions by consensus. It makes one feel good doesn't it? Balderdash! In my opinion it makes for endless debate and rehashing of an issue over and over ad nauseam. A team has to have a leader...right? Every team I have been a part of that has been the case. Is it not reasonable then that the team leader sets an appropriate time limit for debate and the reaching of consensus. The answer is Yes and Yes again! Is it not reasonable that the leader steps up to the plate and having heard all the arguments...oops I meant discussions...makes a decision? Yes it is! If that leader then wants to say that the decision was reached by consensus then so be it. However, it is the facts that should dictate the decision...not consensus. Let's remember that consensus can be defined as a majority of OPINION. Opinions...including mine...can be dead wrong and a persuasive speaker can lead a team/group down the wrong path or just ignore the opinion of others.
It is my military background and my general distaste for meetings that has led me to this blog topic. I am all for being a part of a team, but being a part of one that is dynamic and moving forward in a timely manner. Consensus often gets in the way of that movement. Let's make a decision and get on down the road...it's what really matters!
All to often I find that the word "consensus" is used for convenience sake especially in what many profess to be a "teaming" environment. It looks good to say that "the team" reaches decisions by consensus. It makes one feel good doesn't it? Balderdash! In my opinion it makes for endless debate and rehashing of an issue over and over ad nauseam. A team has to have a leader...right? Every team I have been a part of that has been the case. Is it not reasonable then that the team leader sets an appropriate time limit for debate and the reaching of consensus. The answer is Yes and Yes again! Is it not reasonable that the leader steps up to the plate and having heard all the arguments...oops I meant discussions...makes a decision? Yes it is! If that leader then wants to say that the decision was reached by consensus then so be it. However, it is the facts that should dictate the decision...not consensus. Let's remember that consensus can be defined as a majority of OPINION. Opinions...including mine...can be dead wrong and a persuasive speaker can lead a team/group down the wrong path or just ignore the opinion of others.
It is my military background and my general distaste for meetings that has led me to this blog topic. I am all for being a part of a team, but being a part of one that is dynamic and moving forward in a timely manner. Consensus often gets in the way of that movement. Let's make a decision and get on down the road...it's what really matters!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
I Know Who You Are
April 12, 2010 — The following is both therapeutic and hard for me to blog. I have felt for sometime that I needed to do this, but wondered just how I could best present how I feel without it seeming like I was wallowing in self-pity which I am not. So, what follows is an open letter to my son...
Dear Son:
I have known for sometime now that I needed to write this letter to you. I do not know if you will ever read this, but I do know that it will be here if you choose to do so. It was almost 19-years ago that your mother and I divorced. You were barely 2-years old and I knew then that I would have a presence in your life. Your mother and I never really bickered over sharing the responsibilities of raising you and we did so as best we could given the circumstances. Oh, there is not doubt that mistakes were made on our part. There always seemed to be this issue or that we had to get through and we did. I knew as you got older that there were challenges to be met and for my part I did so and again not without error. I know now what those errors were...and I also know that I cannot go and undue them.
As you began your journey through your teen years we shared a lot. We made some trips together and we played some golf together. There were many joys and some sorrows. I was so proud and tried to be very supportive of your involvement in the Drum Line. It was a great experience for us both. I realized that you wanted very much to begin making your own decisions about things and I knew this was a process that you must learn and be able to exercise. I also knew that you did not possess the life experiences to help you make good and healthy decisions right away and there were often times I felt it my responsibility to protect you from things I felt that you were not quite ready to handle. To this day I feel that was right and what a father that loves his son should do. But you persisted and as I now realize you were not ready and you did make some decisions that have led you to where you are now.
As we both know today there are things that I cannot protect you from as much as I may want to do so. That want is there because I am your father. That wanting to protect never seems to change for a parent that cares and loves for their children. God intended for it to be that way...it never, ever changes!
I have been given so much advice over the past several years concerning our relationship. Most of that advice has been good and sound. I know the immediate future for you holds many scary and challenging situations. They are necessary because that is the law of this land and it must be obeyed. Without the Rule of Law we have chaos and it is my fervent hope that you will begin to change your attitude about the law and realize that what I say is true...that you cannot remain on a path of doing your own thing and that everybody else must adjust to your ways...it is my hope that you begin to realize that your belief that as long as you are not doing something to hurt others that it is perfectly okay for you to do what you want. Surely you must realize that you have been lying to yourself about that. It is undeniable that what you have been doing not only hurts yourself, but indeed does hurt others.
And now comes the accountability and the taking of the responsibility for your actions. I know this...accountability and responsibility are undeniable. It is a life long journey in learning about them. Oh, there are those that will profess that they know all about it, but in my opinion they are in denial of some sort. One does not just simply wake up one morning and know it all. It is not possible because we are not done at any set time in experiencing life except when death comes. Each new day that we live presents new and interesting challenges...and along with those challenges comes accountability and responsibility for our actions in meeting them.
I also know this...at the very heart of my soul I know this...I know who you are and I know where you come from. I know that down deep inside you there resides a man that has a goodness about him. I know that down deep there is that something special that will allow you to rise above your bad decisions, own up to your mistakes, that something special that will teach you and guide you along in your years. That something special comes from the goodness of your family, of our caring, and of our unconditional love for one another. It is my prayer that this something special inside you will soon be ignited and soar like a rocket...it is what really matters!
Love,
Dad
Dear Son:
I have known for sometime now that I needed to write this letter to you. I do not know if you will ever read this, but I do know that it will be here if you choose to do so. It was almost 19-years ago that your mother and I divorced. You were barely 2-years old and I knew then that I would have a presence in your life. Your mother and I never really bickered over sharing the responsibilities of raising you and we did so as best we could given the circumstances. Oh, there is not doubt that mistakes were made on our part. There always seemed to be this issue or that we had to get through and we did. I knew as you got older that there were challenges to be met and for my part I did so and again not without error. I know now what those errors were...and I also know that I cannot go and undue them.
As you began your journey through your teen years we shared a lot. We made some trips together and we played some golf together. There were many joys and some sorrows. I was so proud and tried to be very supportive of your involvement in the Drum Line. It was a great experience for us both. I realized that you wanted very much to begin making your own decisions about things and I knew this was a process that you must learn and be able to exercise. I also knew that you did not possess the life experiences to help you make good and healthy decisions right away and there were often times I felt it my responsibility to protect you from things I felt that you were not quite ready to handle. To this day I feel that was right and what a father that loves his son should do. But you persisted and as I now realize you were not ready and you did make some decisions that have led you to where you are now.
As we both know today there are things that I cannot protect you from as much as I may want to do so. That want is there because I am your father. That wanting to protect never seems to change for a parent that cares and loves for their children. God intended for it to be that way...it never, ever changes!
I have been given so much advice over the past several years concerning our relationship. Most of that advice has been good and sound. I know the immediate future for you holds many scary and challenging situations. They are necessary because that is the law of this land and it must be obeyed. Without the Rule of Law we have chaos and it is my fervent hope that you will begin to change your attitude about the law and realize that what I say is true...that you cannot remain on a path of doing your own thing and that everybody else must adjust to your ways...it is my hope that you begin to realize that your belief that as long as you are not doing something to hurt others that it is perfectly okay for you to do what you want. Surely you must realize that you have been lying to yourself about that. It is undeniable that what you have been doing not only hurts yourself, but indeed does hurt others.
And now comes the accountability and the taking of the responsibility for your actions. I know this...accountability and responsibility are undeniable. It is a life long journey in learning about them. Oh, there are those that will profess that they know all about it, but in my opinion they are in denial of some sort. One does not just simply wake up one morning and know it all. It is not possible because we are not done at any set time in experiencing life except when death comes. Each new day that we live presents new and interesting challenges...and along with those challenges comes accountability and responsibility for our actions in meeting them.
I also know this...at the very heart of my soul I know this...I know who you are and I know where you come from. I know that down deep inside you there resides a man that has a goodness about him. I know that down deep there is that something special that will allow you to rise above your bad decisions, own up to your mistakes, that something special that will teach you and guide you along in your years. That something special comes from the goodness of your family, of our caring, and of our unconditional love for one another. It is my prayer that this something special inside you will soon be ignited and soar like a rocket...it is what really matters!
Love,
Dad
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Maybe The Rule of Law Does Not Suck
April 7, 2010 — In my last blog I took a healthy swipe at The Rule of Law. Anyone that knows me realizes that I do have a complete respect for the laws of this land. It was not my intention to indicate otherwise in my last blog. Since writing that story the picture it painted has changed.
When my friend and his wife completed their 2009 tax return, they did so under my guidance. In fact I completed the forms including the Injured Spouse Allocation. In signing the return they indicated that I was a Third Party Designee on the return so that if problems arose then the IRS would have to talk to me. We are so glad we did this and their is value to you in our story here.
In a call I made this past Monday to the IRS, I was able to ascertain that the return was not adjudicated properly. The IRS Customer Service Rep I dealt with over the phone was extremely helpful. In her examination of the record in the IRS system it was clear to her that the Injured Spouse Allocation form was ignored by the adjudicator even though it was present and available to that individual. This resulted in the applicable IRS code not being applied appropriately...my friends refund being incorrectly applied to his wife's debt and all sort of ill feelings being generated.
Here is my point. Don't ever take No for an answer until you have exhausted all legal recourse. Question everything that does not make sense to you until you are provided with a sound answer irregardless of whether it is one you want to hear or not. My friends return has been given back to the original adjudicator who must now apply the appropriate IRS codes, make the necessary changes, do the right thing, and do so within 30-days. This story will have a much more happy ending.
So, my faith in the system...my respect for The Rule of Law is restored...and again I must note that I never really thought that The Rule of Law sucks because it doesn't...it is what really matters!
When my friend and his wife completed their 2009 tax return, they did so under my guidance. In fact I completed the forms including the Injured Spouse Allocation. In signing the return they indicated that I was a Third Party Designee on the return so that if problems arose then the IRS would have to talk to me. We are so glad we did this and their is value to you in our story here.
In a call I made this past Monday to the IRS, I was able to ascertain that the return was not adjudicated properly. The IRS Customer Service Rep I dealt with over the phone was extremely helpful. In her examination of the record in the IRS system it was clear to her that the Injured Spouse Allocation form was ignored by the adjudicator even though it was present and available to that individual. This resulted in the applicable IRS code not being applied appropriately...my friends refund being incorrectly applied to his wife's debt and all sort of ill feelings being generated.
Here is my point. Don't ever take No for an answer until you have exhausted all legal recourse. Question everything that does not make sense to you until you are provided with a sound answer irregardless of whether it is one you want to hear or not. My friends return has been given back to the original adjudicator who must now apply the appropriate IRS codes, make the necessary changes, do the right thing, and do so within 30-days. This story will have a much more happy ending.
So, my faith in the system...my respect for The Rule of Law is restored...and again I must note that I never really thought that The Rule of Law sucks because it doesn't...it is what really matters!
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Sometimes the Rule of Law Sucks!
April 4, 2010 — I have been so busy lately that I just have not had time to do much "blogging." But something happened yesterday to a friend of mine that points out the injustice and inequality of some of our laws and legal codes. It has driven me to the title of this blog that Sometimes the Rule of Law Sucks. Now just what do I mean here.
My friend received a letter from our friends at the Internal Revenue Service informing him that he and his wife's joint 2009 tax refund was being tagged by the State of Texas Attorney General Office for payment on back child support owed by the wife in a previous marriage. My friend had known that this was a distinct possibility and had taken the steps to file the appropriate IRS Form "Umpty Squat" titled Injured Spouse. He knew, as the IRS advised, that the filing of the form would delay he and his wife's return by some 8-11 weeks. They waited patiently knowing full well that the IRS would adjudicate the matter in accordance with the laws of the State of Texas. Boy are they getting screwed!
No one is beyond the letter of the law (do you hear that those of you in Congress?)...oh I digress...so back on topic! The wife was wrong in falling behind in child support and had signed an agreement drawn up in 2005 by her former spouse wherein she acknowledged a child support payment of so much a month. However, her former spouse never filed the agreement with the court until 2009 and then went to the State AGs Office and filed a complaint for lack of payment. All of this allegedly legal within the laws of the state. But why did the former spouse wait to file with the court? Prior to April 5th 2008, the former spouse knew my friends wife had little means of supporting herself as she was going through some difficult personal issues which she got through with flying colors and then she married my friend on the above date. This apparently woke up her former spouse who knew that my friend worked a good job and decided in 2009 to pursue the back support. Again, all allegedly perfectly legal...but it smells really, really bad!
I will inject here that my friends wife is an excellent mother to her three children. I know this because I observe it daily and I have good reference and that is my own wonderful Mom. Her husband, my friend, is good to all three kids and has never argued why he has to help support them. He is there for those kids!
So what sucks here. Why is the State of Texas grabbing my friends income or more correctly his portion of the tax return refund to pay towards this debt? How does the state figure that is right and just. Please remember that all of this situation occurred outside their marriage except when (2009) the former spouse filed with the State Ags Office for back support. It apparently is because the State of Texas is a community property state...such nonsense! Community property has its place in Family Law...but in my uneducated opinion...not here. I am not a lawyer versed in any law much less Texas Family Law, but this just does not make good common sense...in fact it SUCKS! We are not talking about a small amount of money here folks. These kids were counting on this large refund knowing it was going to reduced by some amount because the wife did have income in 2009 that she alone earned. They were counting on it to support their growing family and to use for the child that is a part of this mess. They do not separate their children...they view and treat them all equally and as theirs!
It took me awhile to settle my friend down and help his wife through her well deserved cry over this. It was my advice that they should do as the letter they received from the IRS suggest...contact the Texas AG Office for help and explanation and what, if any, recourse they might have. They cannot afford an attorney...that is well beyond their means. But I advised that if they take immediate action and stay within the law that they might come to a better conclusion. I will help them do that...not because I think I am smarter that anybody else, but because they need my help.
In the meantime, how the IRS reached this decision and how the matter was interpreted needs to be examined, explained, and brought in-line with reality....it's what really matters!
My friend received a letter from our friends at the Internal Revenue Service informing him that he and his wife's joint 2009 tax refund was being tagged by the State of Texas Attorney General Office for payment on back child support owed by the wife in a previous marriage. My friend had known that this was a distinct possibility and had taken the steps to file the appropriate IRS Form "Umpty Squat" titled Injured Spouse. He knew, as the IRS advised, that the filing of the form would delay he and his wife's return by some 8-11 weeks. They waited patiently knowing full well that the IRS would adjudicate the matter in accordance with the laws of the State of Texas. Boy are they getting screwed!
No one is beyond the letter of the law (do you hear that those of you in Congress?)...oh I digress...so back on topic! The wife was wrong in falling behind in child support and had signed an agreement drawn up in 2005 by her former spouse wherein she acknowledged a child support payment of so much a month. However, her former spouse never filed the agreement with the court until 2009 and then went to the State AGs Office and filed a complaint for lack of payment. All of this allegedly legal within the laws of the state. But why did the former spouse wait to file with the court? Prior to April 5th 2008, the former spouse knew my friends wife had little means of supporting herself as she was going through some difficult personal issues which she got through with flying colors and then she married my friend on the above date. This apparently woke up her former spouse who knew that my friend worked a good job and decided in 2009 to pursue the back support. Again, all allegedly perfectly legal...but it smells really, really bad!
I will inject here that my friends wife is an excellent mother to her three children. I know this because I observe it daily and I have good reference and that is my own wonderful Mom. Her husband, my friend, is good to all three kids and has never argued why he has to help support them. He is there for those kids!
So what sucks here. Why is the State of Texas grabbing my friends income or more correctly his portion of the tax return refund to pay towards this debt? How does the state figure that is right and just. Please remember that all of this situation occurred outside their marriage except when (2009) the former spouse filed with the State Ags Office for back support. It apparently is because the State of Texas is a community property state...such nonsense! Community property has its place in Family Law...but in my uneducated opinion...not here. I am not a lawyer versed in any law much less Texas Family Law, but this just does not make good common sense...in fact it SUCKS! We are not talking about a small amount of money here folks. These kids were counting on this large refund knowing it was going to reduced by some amount because the wife did have income in 2009 that she alone earned. They were counting on it to support their growing family and to use for the child that is a part of this mess. They do not separate their children...they view and treat them all equally and as theirs!
It took me awhile to settle my friend down and help his wife through her well deserved cry over this. It was my advice that they should do as the letter they received from the IRS suggest...contact the Texas AG Office for help and explanation and what, if any, recourse they might have. They cannot afford an attorney...that is well beyond their means. But I advised that if they take immediate action and stay within the law that they might come to a better conclusion. I will help them do that...not because I think I am smarter that anybody else, but because they need my help.
In the meantime, how the IRS reached this decision and how the matter was interpreted needs to be examined, explained, and brought in-line with reality....it's what really matters!
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