Just What Do You Mean?

March 14, 2010 — My oldest grandson is almost 17-years old and really a pretty good guy. He is bright, likes to be involved, plays in the school band, and many other things. But, he is just almost 17 and is just down right perplexing sometimes in what he says. He is an avid user of the social media Facebook as I am and that is where my concern for him arises.

Now I'll be the first to admit that I am far removed from the language and in many cases the thought processes of young people today. Having just helped raise my own son who is now 20-years old through his teen years, I realize I did some things right and then there were some things I did not do correctly. That is okay and I certainly can't change any of it, but I can learn from it and use the experiences in my relationship with my grandson. One thing is for sure...I did not understand a good deal of what my son was often saying and doing and I find that to be the case again with the grandson. It is important for me to approach these issues with him differently.

I am not wanting to spend a lot of time in learning how young people of today think and feel...I know it is different then when I was there age. I do, however, owe them a measure of respect in being willing to listen. There has been and is much said about respect...that it cannot be demanded and has to earned is one thing that stands out. I am of the "old school" view on this though. If I am the Dad or the Grandad, then by virtue of that fact I deserve respect. I deserve to hear yes sir and no sir, please and thank you, those common courtesies I was taught as a young man that demonstrate a measure of respect. I deserve the courtesy of not being talked back to and answers to my questions when I ask some thing like...Just what do you mean? At the same time, I know I must show and share my experiences with the young in a respectful manner. Unfortunately, this is an issue that I am far apart on with my grandson or it is becoming increasingly apparent that is the case.

I am also of the "old school" on the issue of responsibility. My life experiences have taught me that having to take responsibility for my word and action is inescapable. This more then anything else in today's world is what young people do not understand and consistently demonstrate they have little tolerance for. As it was with my son, it is also the case with my grandson. He feels he can say whatever pops into his head whether or not it is rational, factual, or truthful. He quite often shows that he does not care whatsoever if his words hurt or could be misunderstood. More times than not he is not very forthcoming in an explanation when asked what he means. Okay he is young and he certainly does not yet have the advantage of many life experiences. But now is the time to start learning those sometimes hard lessons of life...that words and actions do hurt sometimes more then the cut of a knife...that you do have to take responsibility.

I cannot demand that my grandson learn these things. However, I can continue to ask the questions when I do not understand...to continue to attempt to have active dialog with him albeit long distance...to share my experiences with him...to listen to his side of the story. To do otherwise would be irresponsible on my part. I am bound and determined to help and show him how much I care...it's what really matters!

I Need A Doctor Because I Am Sick of the Health Care Reform Issue

March 7, 2010 — I was recently inspired to read this editorial in the New York Times (NYT) http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/07/opinion/07sun1.html?pagewanted=1&ref=opinion by a well intentioned post on Facebook from a friend. The editorial piece, while it does have some merit, is nothing more than an ad for what the administration and most Congressional Democrats want in the way of reform. It takes direct slaps at the Republicans using such descriptors as "paltry proposals", "small dent", "happily fanned those fears", etc, etc. It does an excellent job of presenting big numbers about this and that such as the number of uninsured in the country as of 2008 and the expected uninsured in 2019...how cost of health care has risen in recent times. And, it goes on to point to what is happening in that foreign country known as California and how Anthem Blue Cross is planning on hiking premium rates by 35-39% for nearly a quarter of those it insures. It notes we should be alarmed by this and hints that this is the sort of thing that will happen to all of us if health care reform fails. Well I truly have a few questions:

1) How is the program (the proposed reform) fully paid for and how should it actually reduce the deficit over the next two decades? Here is the quote from the editorial that prompts my question: "But, despite what the critics charge, this is not a government takeover. And the program is not only fully paid for, it should actually reduce the deficit over the next two decades."

2) What is the estmated penalty if I do not purchase insurance under this proposal? The editorial states: "Under the new system, all people would be required to have health insurance or pay a penalty."

3) The Congressional Budget Office estimates that at the current rate there will be 54 million uninsured by 2019. The Senate's reform bill would reduce that number by an estimated 31 million by 2019. Now lets see...using my elementary arithmetic... 54 million minus 31 million leaves a remainder of 23 million uninsured. What are they chopped liver? What happened to coverage for all?

4) How will those individuals that by their own insurance or work for a small business that currently cannot afford to cover their employees health insurance be able to get a better deal if they can purchase their insurance on a competitive exchange? What is the estimated cost of such a policy? The editorial says: "All of these groups should be able to get a better deal if they can buy their insurance through new, competitive exchanges."

5) What is the estimated subsidy (in hard dollars) that would be forthcoming to help low- and middle-income people pay their premiums. The editorial says: "Reform would help them by setting minimum standards of coverage and providing subsidies to tens of millions of low- and middle-income people to help pay their premiums."

6) Here is another editorial statement: "Pending reform legislation, specifically the Senate bill, would launch an array of pilot projects to test reforms in delivering and paying for care. It would also create a special board to accelerate the adoption of anything that seemed to work. That seems a reasonable way to go and a lot better than standing by as costs continue to spiral out of control. The Republicans’ proposals — including their call to cap malpractice awards — would make only a small dent in the problem." What are these arrays of "pilot projects" they claim will test the reform provisions? Who would sit on the "special board" that would accelerate the adoption of anything that works? (geesh that is an incredible way to put it)

7) How does the Senate bill reduce the deficit by an estimated $132 billion in the first ten years and more in the next decade? The editorial states: " The truth of the matter is that the pending reform legislation has been designed to generate enough revenue and savings to more than offset the substantial cost of expanding Medicaid and providing subsidies to the middle class."

"The Congressional Budget Office estimated that the Senate bill would reduce deficits over the first 10 years by $132 billion and even more in the second decade."

While I can agree that maintaining the status quo on health care is not sustainable, I need answers to the above questions before I can do the right thing. If anyone reading this blog can provide factual and sane (dare I say that) arguments to the questions proposed, I will welcome them in the light of honest debate.

The editorial left out one line at the bottom of the article. It should have stated: "The preceding editorial was paid for by the Democratic Party of the United States and we approve its content."

Now I am heading to the Drs office in the morning and get some meds for this bad case of "I Am Sick of the Health Care Reform Issue" bug I have...it's what really matters!

12 Steps To A New Life

March 2, 2010 — There have been two significant periods in my life when I thought alcohol was just what I needed to make everything right...to make me feel accepted...to ease my worries...to you name it...I thought during these periods that alcohol was the answer. During these times there was always something that came along that was better and I was able to temper my use of alcohol...I guess I never became truly addicted...and I guess I was just plain lucky in that.

For others the story is not so lucky. For some their addiction runs deep. Whether it is an alcohol or meth or other substance addiction, they are in a battle to survive. I have been fortunate to know several recovering addicts. I say fortunate because their story of recovery is truly remarkable and it all centers on Alcoholic Anonymous' 12 Step Program. It is a story we can all learn from.

Karen and I know a married couple that are good friends. This couple has been in successful recovery for the past sixteen years. They have never been reluctant to talk about their story of addiction...how their life while in the grip of drugs and alcohol was worthless...how they felt that they were not worthy of anything. Even with two children the most important thing in their life for so long was just when were they going to be able to get high again. It took its toll until they found AA and sobriety. The wonderful thing about this recovery is it has been going on for sixteen years and they remain committed to AA and the 12 Step Program. Today they own their own successful business and enjoy being grandparents. Theirs is a great story.

I have had family members that have gone into recovery from an addiction. With these family members the story is much like our married couple friends. Something led them to find that there is a better life than the one they were leading in their addiction. Each found the 12 Step Program, each found a way to combat their addiction, and each found a way to keep from dying.

Now comes another family member that is battling addiction. This hits close to home to one that is in a close knit family and so many of us are. We look for easy answers and there are none. We may seek ways to help and there are many. Love and understanding are the most important of these. I recently visited this family member where they are going through rehab and was struck by two things. First I saw a determination in this person's eyes that said volumes about what they need to do. Secondly, I asked what their plans were after rehab. They grabbed hold of the AA book in front of them and said..."it's all in here." It's all in the 12 Step Program and within them self. My family member needs the love and understanding that only a family can give to help them along their recovery road. They need the love and understanding of others that are recovering. With all of this support, their story of recovery will also be a successful one...it's what really matters!